Why We All Need Dinner Parties in Our Lives (2024)

I’ve met most of my favorite people at dinner parties. My closest pal of ten years, Julianna? Collected her at a dinner party I hosted to find a new roommate. The night ended in sticky cinnamon buns.

My friend Phi? I met her at a dinner party I was invited to when I ran into a guy I did theater with as a kid.

The guy I did theater with? Well, we aren’t tight, but the woman he was dating at the time, the one who threw the dinner party where I met Phi? She is a very close friend of mine now too.

The photographer for my book? Wanna guess how I met her? Yup. At a dinner party.

My husband, Andy? I knew it was the real deal after I brought him to a dinner party hosted by my two best friends. There was risotto involved.

My dog, Malone? Well, she used to be my friend’s dog until we fell in love at a dinner party, and the rest is history.

I could regale you all day with stories about people I’ve met at dinner parties and clung to like a baby koala. Dinner parties bring people together. There’s just something about having dinner and drinks at a friend’s house that is 1,000x more memorable than going to a restaurant. So as a believer in the power of dinner parties, I spent my mid-twenties attending as many as humanly possible.

But then, as my friends and I got busy with careers, dating lives, families, and general garbage, the dinner parties got further and further apart. One day, I was sitting on the couch feeling unsettled, thinking about what had shifted, and it became really obvious. I knew what I needed. Enter Friendsday Wednesday.

Friendsday Wednesday (n.): A Wednesday when your friends come over for dinner so your week doesn’t suck.

If nothing beats the joy of sitting squished around a table with lots of food, flowing drinks, and your favorite people, then why don’t we do it more often? Why would we deprive ourselves of this joy and “free therapy”? There are two main reasons many of us avoid hosting dinner parties like root canals: (1) fear of not being a “good enough” host or cook and (2) decision fatigue! And luckily, the impossibly handy flowchart below is designed to alleviate both issues.

Don’t feel like making dinner? The flowchart says, “Don’t! Order takeout and make a co*cktail.” Tired of using your brain? The flowchart’s response: “All good! Just answer a few simple questions and I’ll lead you to the perfect menu.” Now that problems #1 and #2 are solved, there’s only one question left: when are your friends coming over?

Why We All Need Dinner Parties in Our Lives (1)

It began with a Google Sheet where people could sign up for one of six open spots per week. I thought just a few people would sign up, and that maybe some weeks no one would sign up, and I would have to deal with the existential question that all humans ask themselves in their darkest moments: “DO ALL MY FRIENDS HATE ME?”

But right away the entire month was booked! I was incredibly excited. I used the first Friendsday Wednesday as a chance to dust off cookbooks I’d been meaning to crack open. I’d pick one recipe I was really excited about and make simple sides to serve with it. I made things like Moroccan
stewed lamb with cherry rice, extra-gooey butternut squash mac and cheese, grilled kebabs with fluffy homemade pitas, and cochinita pibil tacos.

On occasion, if the day exploded, I would just order takeout. Guests always brought the booze.

Friendsday Wednesday quickly became the best day of the week, not just for me and my partner (hi, Andy!), but for all of our friends. People started texting me to find out what we ate on nights they weren’t there, or to ask if they could bring a plus-one, and to get ideas about how they could host their own version of Friendsday Wednesday.

The act of gathering and feeding people allowed me to maintain sanity, support my community, and have some fun. Being an adult can be sort of a drag a lot of the time, and gathering around food is the greatest antidote. Am I saying that becoming a regular dinner partier will necessarily lead you to a fulfilling career and the love of your life? I’m not not saying it.

__________________________________

Why We All Need Dinner Parties in Our Lives (2)

FromDinner Party Project byNatashaFeldman. Copyright © 2023 byNatashaFeldman. Reprinted by permission of Harvest, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

dinnersflowchartsfriendshiphostingNatashaFeldmanThe Dinner Party Project


Natasha Feldman

Natasha Feldman is a cooking instructor, private chef, recipe developer, host, and author of Dinner Party People, a Harper Collins book releasing Spring 2023. As a self-identified 34-year-old Jewish Grandmother, she loves to encourage people to have fun in the kitchen, to worry less about making mistakes or how your food looks, and worry more about whether you have sufficiently stuffed the faces of your friends and family and had a good time. Follow her on Instagram @noshwithtash.

Why We All Need Dinner Parties in Our Lives (2024)

FAQs

Why We All Need Dinner Parties in Our Lives? ›

Dinner parties bring people together. There's just something about having dinner and drinks at a friend's house that is 1,000x more memorable than going to a restaurant. So as a believer in the power of dinner parties, I spent my mid-twenties attending as many as humanly possible.

Why are dinner parties important? ›

No matter the time, a dinner invitation carries a certain significance. Sitting down for a meal with friends, colleagues, or rivals has been used across cultures and centuries as an opportunity to network, share, and celebrate. Queens and kings used lavish banquets to showcase wealth, prosperity, and power.

Is it important to have dinner parties? ›

From lively conversations to uproarious laughter, a friend dinner party is a breeding ground for unforgettable moments. Whether you're celebrating milestones, sharing stories, or simply enjoying each other's company, these gatherings will leave you with memories to treasure for years to come.

Are dinner parties still a thing? ›

Younger generations are setting the table for a different kind of dinner party tradition and new businesses are RSVPing to help. Why it matters: Entertaining at home is one way for people to get the connection they crave, on a budget.

What is the meaning of dinner party? ›

/ˈdɪn·ər ˌpɑr·ti/ Add to word list Add to word list. a social event where a number of people are invited by someone to eat a meal together, usually in the person's home.

What is the main purpose of a party? ›

A party is a gathering of people who have been invited by a host for the purposes of socializing, conversation, recreation, or as part of a festival or other commemoration or celebration of a special occasion.

Why is The Dinner Party a triangle? ›

The principal component of The Dinner Party is a massive ceremonial banquet arranged in the shape of an open triangle—a symbol of equality—measuring forty-eight feet on each side with a total of thirty-nine place settings.

Who pays for a dinner party? ›

If an event has been framed as something to which you're invited rather than communally-made group plans, the host (be it the honoree or not) should be paying — but to be safe, don't assume that they will. Be prepared to at least cover your own portion of the bill in order to avoid any awkward situations after dinner.

Are dinner parties on the rise? ›

The surge in dinner parties can be attributed to several factors. First, the rising cost of living has made restaurant dining less appealing. Splitting the cost among friends, potlucks, and the ability to elevate a simple meal with decorations make dinner parties a more budget-friendly option for social gatherings.

Why do people like to host parties? ›

Creates good vibes and a good mood. Throwing a party is fun, and it gives everyone something to look forward to after an ordinary week. Good times spent with friends helps reduce stress by lowering your cortisol and producing feel-good hormones instead. Think of it as a mood booster!

What is The Dinner Party problem? ›

Termed 'the dinner party problem,' this four-person conversation size limit is believed to be caused by evolved cognitive constraints on human mentalizing capacities. In this view, people can mentally manage three other minds at any one time, leading to four-person conversations.

Where did dinner parties originate from? ›

Ancient Times: The concept of communal dining can be traced back to ancient civilizations. In ancient Greece and Rome, symposia and convivia were gatherings where people came together to eat, drink, discuss various topics, and enjoy entertainment.

When should a dinner party end? ›

Dinner parties typically last three hours; however, they can last only two hours if you'd prefer.

What is the moral of the dinner party? ›

The theme of the short story The Dinner is that both men and women are equally courageous and can have control of a situation. This is shown throughout the dinner party when the colonel and the girl discuss the topic of female control.

What is ironic about the dinner party? ›

The irony is that the men talking about the superiority of the male is indeed proven by Mrs. Wynnes' reaction to the cobra. The discussion at the beginning of the story details how women are less courageous than men. The ending is the opposite of what the reader is led to expect.

What is the lesson the dinner party about? ›

The lesson 'The Dinner Party” written by Mona Gardner explains about the importance of self-control. A colonial official and his wife are giving a large dinner party for the army officers and government officials and their wives, and a visiting American naturalist.

How many people should be at a dinner party? ›

You just have to focus on giving people a memorable experience through what is shared. My preference is 6 to 8 people, which is the number of people who can sit around my dining room table. Some people think that the food is the most important thing for a dinner party and I disagree.

How many hours should a dinner party be? ›

Dinner parties typically last three hours; however, they can last only two hours if you'd prefer.

How many people make a dinner party? ›

If possible, the best way to do this is to have at least four people and at least one extrovert at each designated dining zone, so it doesn't feel like you've been relegated to an eternal Thanksgiving Dinner kid's table. It might be a lot of work, but eight to twelve guests will give you a proper party atmosphere.

How long should you stay at a dinner party? ›

For a dinner party, this means you should be in attendance for the entire dinner (and even stay slightly longer, for good measure), not just a course or two. A good rule of thumb: If it's a party with a guest of honor, such as a shower or birthday, stay until after cake is served.

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